Sunday Funnies

I'm home from another morning spent in the deer woods. I didn't see the first deer but enjoyed the peace and quiet nonetheless. It was an unusually still morning. I don't think I even heard a gunshot the whole time I was out there. Apparently, the deer weren't moving anywhere else either.
I took a little walkabout when I got out of my stand with the intentions of picking up my trail cam on the way back to the truck. After grabbing it, I walked on the way I was heading rather than go back around the way I came in. This would be only the second time all year I had been on this side of the property with the first time being back in early October. Now that the leaves have fallen and the grass is dormant, you can really see heavily used trails alot better now. Wanna guess what I found? Yep. I had noticed the trail back in the early season but it was really hard to tell how much it was being used then because the grass and weeds are so pliable, they just bend away and spring back. Not anymore. The deer have it so stomped down now it looks like a cow trail winding through the brush. I've already got my tree picked out and will be hanging a stand in it, maybe even as soon as this afternoon. That's the hidden beauty of not killing a deer every time. You can have more time to get out and scout new locations. And find promising places to maybe add to the growing list of "honeyholes." And who don't love a good honeyhole?


In other news...here's a few jokes I ran across last night.

The Good,Bad and Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly:She's a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.

Good: The postman is early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Old Butch

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too.

But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.