Good news!!

But before I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh.

Promise? Cross your heart and hope to die? Anybody with their fingers crossed has to eat a booger. No, TWO boogers. So...everybody promise? Alrighty then.

Remember waaaaaaay back here when I said the boat was messed up because a line had popped off of the water pressure gauge and water was spraying underneath the dash? And I needed to put it back on? Well I did that. Right before we took it to the lake for the camping trip. Remember that trip? I was almost convinced the reason my boat wouldn't crank was a bad starter. But I needed to pull it back off and go have it tested at a REAL automotive electric facility, and not by some minimum wage slacker at a discount auto parts store. (But, it was Sunday and I had no other choice.) And remember how much the starter was going to cost if I had to replace it? Remember? Well I pulled it off and had it tested. the starter turned out to be OK.

"Whew", you say?

Just wait, it gets better. Tested the solenoid. Bad solenoid. Problem solved? Hardly. The guy tested the old solenoid. Remember that one? The one the dumbass guy at Advance Auto Parts the wannabe parts house checked and told me that he'd found the problem. This was AFTER he told me my problem was a dead cell in the battery and fucked me with told me I needed a new battery. I mentioned that. Right? Well if I didn't, you should be up to speed right now so quit drag-assing around and keep up.

Let's get to real time here...living in the here-and-now.
This afternoon I had a friend come over and he brought along a multi-meter. After several minutes of testing continuity, verifying grounds. checking voltage, reading amperes in both open and closed circuits....we figured out the problem. Or should I say...HE figured out the problem. Anyone care to guess? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? (She'll know I stole that but it's OK..I hope)

Let's look at a little "common sense" logic here:
What was the first problem? The water line spraying underneath the dash...right? You better say "Right" or you just need to quit reading right here, ***this portion edited after I read how cruel it sounded while spellchecking***. Or quit drinking. Whatever your case. I JUST told you that was the first problem.

Secondly, what's commonly underneath a dash of any sort? I think it's safe to assume most dashes have various gauges, switches and lights under them...don't you?

Thirdly, what usually operates said gauges, switches and lights? Nothing more than electrical current. And what does moisture (not to mention a steady stream of water pouring over them for about 7-8 minutes) usually do to electrical items? Especially if allowed to sit for a few days or even 2 weeks?

What's that? Did I hear..? You...in the back...say that so everyone can hear you.

That's right! Corrosion!

And what will corrosion do to electrical contacts? It can/will interrupt and/or impede the flow of electrical current. And what's on the dash that sends electrical current to the starter?

The ignition switch. Plain and simple. The moisture caused the contacts to corrode and the switch was only allowing about 6-8 volts of current through to the starter. (FYI, it takes about 12 volts to turn the starter) The low voltage was enough to make the solenoid engage but enough to not spin the motor, which resulted in the incorrect conclusion that the solenoid was "good" and the starter was "bad". We pulled the switch and "hot-wired" the motor and it cranked fine.

Can I get an "Amen"?

So...I just need to go get a new ignition switch and install it and things should be all better. OK...now you can cross your fingers. For luck this time.

*This educational message brought to you by Louie, the Lightning Bug.*